Conflicts of Interest

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Conflict on Aisle 3!

November 25th, 2012 at Sun, 25th, 2012 at 8:13 am by Vivian Scott

I first posted this blog two holiday seasons ago but I think it’s worth repeating.  Remember to keep your cool no matter what others are doing and enjoy the season!

Shopping during the holidays can be a real nightmare.   Facing parking lots jammed with cars, performing complicated search and rescue efforts to find an available cart, and approaching aisles with your best obstacle course strategies can cause even the most happy-go-lucky holiday shopper to start up a conflict with any stranger who dares cross his path.  Delivering an emotionally-charged snarky remark while juggling the sweater you’re buying for Nana doesn’t say much about your ability to spread joy or share in the holiday spirit.

I can’t tell you how to manage every potential conflict you’ll face in the next month or so, but I can pass on a few tips retail workers have shared with me.  Of course, I’ve added my own two cents worth on the subject and hope there’s something in here that will help you keep your cool this season.

1)      Minimize the material and maximize the experience:  What I mean by that is limit the amount of “stuff” you buy and, instead, think about experiences you can share with your family and friends.  Throwing a potluck or hosting a game night will deliver a much better experience than being angry with those around you as you wait in line after line after line spending money you don’t have.

2)      Shop on-line:  Avoid the lines (and the other crabby people!) by hitting up your favorite stores’ websites.  Check out promotion sites to find deals on price discounts, free shipping, and the like.  Words of caution, though; make sure you’re carving out uninterrupted computer time so you steer clear of fighting with the family when they “just won’t leave you alone.”  Also, practice scanning Internet deals quickly to avoid getting to the checkout page only to discover the discount you’re counting on doesn’t apply to the items in your shopping cart.

3)      Use parking lots as personal training sessions:  Why get worked up when you can work out? Use the back entrance and take the first spot you see.  Walk the extra distance to the front door with a smile on your face and daydream about what you’ll do with all the extra time you’ve given yourself by not circling the same aisles over and over.  Unless you need to build your demolition derby skills, let the other shoppers duke it out, honk their horns, and yell obscenities.

4)      Shop the little guy:  I called a warehouse store to ask if they had any tips on avoiding shopper conflicts and the person who answered the phone said, “Don’t shop here.”  Good point.  If crowds, long lines, and oversized carts bumping into the back of your heels make you mad, shop at smaller stores that offer fewer items to fewer customers.

5)      Plan to be patient:  No matter what anyone else does, have control over your own emotions and reactions.  Prepare yourself to take a “we’re in this together” attitude whenever possible.  If the cashier is rude, empathetically ask if she’s having a rough day.  She’ll probably appreciate your interest and lighten up for the next guy.  Smile at everyone even if—and especially when—they don’t return the gesture.

My local grocery store manager said that for the most part, holiday shoppers and retail employees are a cheerful bunch.  His staff actually notices that most of their patrons display quite a bit of holiday spirit even when they’re stressed and tired.  He said that the happiest customers are the ones who have paid attention to the ads (which are timed to coincide with shopper habits) and are completing their lists with time to spare.   He hinted that the best time to grocery shop is before 11:00 a.m. when most of the staff is in, the departments are fully stocked, and there are fewer customers to contend with.  He also said that a shopper shouldn’t wait until late afternoon the day before an event to rush around the store and then get angry with a cashier who’s helping another customer count out change.  I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a pretty good piece of advice for any time of the year.

Vivian Scott is a Professional Certified Mediator with a private practice serving King and Snohomish Counties. She is the author of, "Conflict Resolution at Work For Dummies" and a contributing author of "Thriving in the Workplace For Dummies" as well as "Managing All-in-One For Dummies" (Wiley Publishing). Ms. Scott is a Certified Mediator Member of the Washington Mediation Association and received their Outstanding Contributor Award in 2012. Her mediation cases range from assisting couples through divorce and parenting plans to creating new workplace environments for organizations of all sizes. You can learn more about Vivian by visiting her website at www.vivianscottmediation.com. or www.anytimeseminars.com

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