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Conflicts of Interest

Everything you ever wanted to know about conflicts at home, at work, or in the neighborhood.

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Actions Don’t Really Speak Louder Than Words

October 24th, 2012 at Wed, 24th, 2012 at 10:39 am by Vivian Scott

There’s an old saying that actions speak louder than words; and I try to live by that adage most of the time.  In reality, though, it can be a pretty lousy way to communicate; especially when I expect others to guess why I’m taking a particular action or when I expect them to take a hint from my silence, .

Sometimes the only way to get a message across is to speak; to use words over actions.  If you’re holding back and expecting your actions to speak for you, doesn’t it make sense that the real issues aren’t being discussed?  When problems persist I know that’s a sign that it’s time to say what I need to say—everything I need to say.

If you have a lingering problem with someone, chances are you haven’t let it all out.  Be mindful, be kind, but have the entire discussion; not just the part where you say only half of what you need to say and expect your actions to make up for the unspoken part.  If you’re still unable to resolve the issue, feel free to revert back to letting your actions speak for you…walk away, rise above, and get on with the good stuff.

Vivian Scott is a Professional Certified Mediator with a private practice serving King and Snohomish Counties. She is the author of, "Conflict Resolution at Work For Dummies" and a contributing author of "Thriving in the Workplace For Dummies" as well as "Managing All-in-One For Dummies" (Wiley Publishing). Ms. Scott is a Certified Mediator Member of the Washington Mediation Association and received their Outstanding Contributor Award in 2012. Her mediation cases range from assisting couples through divorce and parenting plans to creating new workplace environments for organizations of all sizes. You can learn more about Vivian by visiting her website at or

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